女生试穿泳衣时的61个念头

jessie_818

1.OMG SUMMER!!!!
我的神呐！夏天来了！！！
2.It’s summer!
夏天耶！
3. (Ok, so it’s April.)
好吧，这才4月。
4.But that’s basically summer.
可夏天差不多快到了。
5.I can’t wait to wear bathing suits all the time.
我等不及整天都穿泳衣了。
6.I’m going to get so tan this year.
今年得好好把自己晒晒。
7.I’m going to wear a bathing suit under all my clothes so I can just go to the pool whenever I want.
我准备就把泳衣穿在里面，然后随时都可以去泳池游泳。
8.I’m actually going to go to the beach this year.
其实今年我准备去沙滩啦~
9.Beach parties, here I come!
沙滩派对，我来了~
10.I just have to get a cute new suit.
要重新买一件可爱的泳衣才行。
11.I feel like this is my day. I’m going to find THE suit.
就今天了！买泳衣去喽！
12.There are so many cute styles here.
好看的宽式真多。
13. I have more parts than that would cover.
那件能遮住我身上的肉么。
14.Maybe I’ll go crazy and get TWO.
心血来潮就买两件吧。
15.Treat myself.
要善待自己。
16.Hi, I have 47 items to try on.
嘿，我要试试这47件。
17.Is that over the limit?
超上限没？
18.Why does ONE bathing suit count as TWO items, that’s dumb.
干嘛一套泳衣要算作两样啊，真是的。
19.Okay, this bikini is real cute.
好了，这件比基尼不错。
20.If it fits, I don’t even care how much it is. I’m getting it.
只要穿合身，不管多少钱，我都买了。
21.Oh.
噢！
22.No.
不行。
23.This is not my style.
这不是我的风格。
24.Or color.
颜色不对。
25.Or size.
大小也不合适。
26.That’s not a muffin top, that’s the whole muffin.
不单是肚子上的赘肉，整个游泳圈都会现行。
27Did I accidentally get a child’s size?
难道那是小孩的尺寸？
28.That’s okay, I have so many more.
没关系，我还有很多可以选。
29.This one would be great if my legs and my neck were the same size.
要是我的大腿和脖子一样细，这件会很不错。
30.Next.
下一件！
31.Next.
换！
32. This one shoulder thing is also messed up.
这件肩部太难看了。
33.Where does this strap even go?
肩带跑哪去了？
34.How am I supposed to tie this crap behind by own back.
我要怎样才能把这货从背后绑好。
35.I’m not an acrobat.
又不是杂技演员。
36.I bet acrobats never have problems finding bathing suits.
杂技演员就可以轻松搞定。
37.Aaaand this one doesn’t even fit over my legs.
还有，这件根本就不合我的腿。
38.That would be okay if I could amputate my entire torso.
那件很适合截肢后的我。
39.Yiiiikes.
呀！
40.More like HALT HER.
更像是“阻止她”。
41. This vintage high-waisted one will be it. I can feel it.
这件老式高腰是我的款，我感觉到了。
42.These are flattering on everyone…
它们是任何人的菜...
43.…except me, apparently.
...显然除了我。
44.Why is there a cut-out there?
干嘛要印上花？
45.That’s literally the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
简直就是我见过的最难看的东西。
46.Just say no to skin-tight horizontal stripes.
绝对不要紧身横条纹。
47.Maybe it’s just the lighting?
看看亮色的？
48.Are there night-time beach parties?
有傍晚沙滩派对吗？
49.This lighting is the actual worst.
这件亮色泳衣真可怖。
50.Even Beyonce would look rough in this lighting.
让碧昂斯穿了都显粗糙。
51.Well, I’m glad one-pieces are back in.
很好，这件连体的挺称心。
52.One pieces are totally sexy.
看起来超性感。
53.Oh, god.
天呐！
54.WHO SIZED THESE THINGS?
谁设计的尺寸？
55.WHO EVEN INVENTED BATHING SUITS?
又是谁发明的泳衣？
56.I have some choice words for them.
我想跟他们谈谈。
57.Can I just swim in jeans?
我能穿牛仔裤游泳吗？
58.Beach jeans are a thing right?
沙滩牛仔不错对吧？
59.That sounds pretty normcore.
听起来挺normcore的。
60.I’m never doing this again.
我再也不选泳衣了。
61.I miss winter :(
冬天真好 :(