When life gets rough, sometimes it’s hard not to fall apart and sink deep into an abyss of negative emotions. Have you ever wondered how some people can be so calm during the most turbulent times while others can’t? Would you like to adopt some coping strategies that keep you calm during the bad phases of your life? Here are 9 things you can do to get through tough times with a level head.
当生活过得尤其不顺时,很难让自己独善其身,不受负面思想的影响。你是否有那么一段时间很想知道为什么有些人在困难时期还能保持平静,而有些人却做不到?在困难时期你是否有想过让自己能平静应对的策略?当生活变得艰难时,你可以试试以下的这9个方式。
Cry if you need to—for a while.
如果有需要就哭一会儿吧
Some people are more emotional than others. But repressing your emotions doesn’t always help. If you do repress them, it’s like holding a beach ball under the water. You can do it for a while, but it will eventually come back to the surface—and sometimes in an explosive manner. So have a good cry once in a while. Let the emotions out in order to help yourself think more clearly afterwards.
有些人会更容易情绪化一些。但是压制自己的情感并不会一直都能凑效。要是你一直压制情感,那感觉就像要把沙滩球摁在水下。你可以试一试,但是最终都会浮出水面-----有时甚至还是爆发式的出现。好好哭一小会儿吧。为了让自己日后能更清楚的思考,把这些情绪宣泄出来吧。
Then stop the crying and put your logical side into the driver’s seat.
哭完之后,让你的理智为你保驾护航
Once you let your emotions out, make a decision to put your emotional side in the passenger’s seat and let your logical side drive. Logic will help you stay calm and focused during chaos. If you let your emotions out with a good cry or two, you can shift mental gears and do the next step: solve the problem.
一旦将负面情绪宣泄之后,把感情放到一边,理智的做出决定。在混乱之时,理智能让你保持平静,让你集中精力。要是哭个一两次能让你发泄一下,能够让心情变好,紧接着就可以来到下一步了:解决问题。
Be solution-oriented.
以解决问题为导向
Dwelling on the negatives won’t change anything. Let’s say you just lost your job. Maybe it was shock. So you’ve had your cry and/or the time of freaking out, and then you made the decision to put your logical hat on. Now look at the possibilities. Start applying for jobs. Think about a career change or starting your own business. Look at the actions you can take to make your situation better. Then do something.
一直伤悲不会改变任何事。比如说你刚刚丢了工作。也许很让人吃惊。你已经哭过了/你也已经心烦意乱了,接下来你应该理智的做出一个决定了。看看有哪些可能的工作机会。开始投简历。想着换种工作或者开始自己创业。试试目前你能做到的,能让你目前的境遇变得好点的事情。然后就开始吧。
Remove yourself from the situation if you can.
只要可以,让自己走出这种境遇
Maybe you didn’t lose your job—but you hate your job. Or your boss. Or your co-workers. Maybe you’re in an abusive or loveless relationship. If there is any possible way for you to remove yourself from a negative situation, then do it. Staying and dwelling on the negatives won’t make you happier or calmer. Sometimes you just need to get out so you can have a better life.
也许你并没失业---但是你讨厌你的工作,或者讨厌你目前的老板,或者不喜欢你的同事。也许你觉得自己被虐待了或者是觉得自己生活在一个没有人情味儿的环境中。要是有机会能改变你目前的境遇,那就做些改变吧。一直呆在不开心的环境里也不能让你自己开心,也无法让自己保持平静。有时候,让自己过得好一点就是需要你自己从中走出来。
Keep things in perspective.
怀着希望
Sometimes what we think is a tragedy isn’t really a tragedy. It may just feel like one. As I look back on my life, some of the things that I thought were the end of the world were really just stepping stones. I like to ask myself the question, “At the end of my life, am I going to look back at this problem and feel that it was significant? Or will I just laugh at how upset I was over it?” If you can give your problems a new perspective like that, it will help you stay calm. Sure, some problems really are huge. But many of them are not—we just think they are.
有时候我们认为的困难并不是真的困难。那只是我们的感觉。就像有时候我回顾自己的生活,有些事我认为那已经是最困难的,但是那也只是成功路上的奠基石。我喜欢问自己这个问题,“在最后,我是否能再次回首这些问题,能感受到它的意义?或者在经历过这些之后我还能一笑而过?”要是在遇到新问题的时候,能给自己一个新的念想,那也能帮你保持平静。当然,有些问题真的很棘手。但是大部分都不是---只是我们把它当成了困难的问题来对待。
Remember that it won’t last forever.
要记住:不会一直都那样
One of my favorite quotes is: “The only thing constant is change.” While that’s an ironic statement, it’s actually very true. No one stays in once place. It might feel like you’re staying in the same place, but time marches on. If you take action to make a better life for yourself, then you are claiming your power and taking that first step toward being happier.
我有一句最喜欢的名言:“唯一不会变化就是变化。”虽然听起来有点讽刺的味道,可确实是很有道理的。没有什么东西是一成不变的。也许你觉得你还在原地打转,但事实上已经不是了。要是你想为自己的美好生活做一些事情,那就用你自己的力量开始向幸福生活迈出第一步吧。
Ask for help.
寻求帮助
Unfortunately, a lot of people think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It’s not! Where has it ever been written that everyone needs to go through their problems alone? Nowhere! Having other people support you—either emotionally or by actually doing something to help—will make you feel like you have less of a burden on your shoulders.
不太好的是,很多人都认为找人帮忙是软弱的一种表现。事实上不是的!哪里有写过每个人遇到困难的时候都得独自面对吗?没有!有他人的支持---不管是情感上还是真的有在帮助你---你都能感觉到肩上的担子不那么重了。
Realize that it could be worse.
得意识到:情况还可能会更糟
Another thing that helps me keep calm during tough times is that I always remember that there are a lot worse things that could be happening. Maybe you did lose your job, but at least you have your health and perhaps family members to help you get back on your feet. Somewhere in the world, someone has it a lot worse than you do right at this moment. I know it doesn’t always feel that way, but many times, it’s true.
在困难时期能帮到我们的就是要时刻记住:很多事情还可能变得更糟。也许是你丢掉工作,但是至少你还很健康,家人永远都是你坚实的后盾。在世界的某个地方,有人遇到的问题比你的更严峻。我知道并不会总是这样,但总会有这么几次,这也是事实。
Believe that things will get better.
相信一切总会好起来
Hope. Hope is everything. If you don’t believe that things will change, then they won’t. I always love to quote Henry Ford when he said, “Whether you think you can—or you think you can’t—either way, you are right.” If you think things will get better, then they eventually will. If you think they won’t, then they won’t. Your beliefs shape your experience.
怀有希望。有希望就有一切。要是你不相信每件事都会有转机,那么就不会有转机。我总是爱引用亨利•福特(Henry Ford)的话,他说“不管你认为你是否可以做到,不管是哪种,你都是对的。”要是你坚信,事情会向着好的方向发展,事情就能朝着好的方向发展。要是你认为事情只会越来越糟,最终事情也真的会越来越糟。你的信念能塑造出你的经验。
Staying calm when life gets rough takes practice, but it can be done. If you practice these steps on a regular basis, eventually it will become second nature to you
生活艰难时,运用这些方法保持平静。反复练习之后,这些都会成为你的第二天性。